Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Loop Pedal + Genius = Magic Zombies?

So I briefly worked alongside a guy. Let's call him Vince for the purposes of this blog post. Vince and I had several conversations about music, brief ones. One day we were listening to a Seattle radio show called Expansions, and we had the following exchange:

Vince: So I don't know about all this new stuff, but do you like old school shit? 
Sam: I mean sure...what do you mean by old school shit?  
Vince: You know—like real music. Ever hear of a guy named Jimmy Hendrix?
Sam: [purses lips, squints eyes, and massages temples with fingers]

Or this:

Vince: In my opinion man, music died in the nineties. Hey, you like Nirvana?
Sam: [glassy-eyed gaze into the distance, followed by flexing of jaw muscles]

I said nothing, because that's what I do when I'm truly and utterly at a loss—when someone says something so outrageously divergent from what I believe, that clearly it's not just our music tastes that are misaligned—it's our whole perception of reality. To Vince, "music" consisted of a list of about 175 songs all written between the years 1972 and 1994, all owned by the same four record companies, and all played on the same classic rock station.

If music is dead, then here's one of my favorite forms of reanimated zombified flesh: loop-pedal based magic. It's a whole art form, a stunning fusion of technology and musical vision. It's a marvelous, exciting world of musical creation out there, and I suspect this is only the beginning. Check out these guys:








Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Ok Fine, I'll Post Something (About Cats)

What better way to emerge from my blog hibernation than to craft a post featuring all my favorite cat videos from the last few months!?! Most cats on the internet are cute, but I'm less into cute cats as I am into fucking awesome ones:

 


I'm also impressed with how slow-motion can make just about anything look fucking awesome. Like kittens for instance. Normally cute, kittens, when slowed down enough, look like terrifying alien predators with the ability to fly:




Next, here are some of the strangest cats I've ever seen. I'm not even sure what kind of cats these are, but they're really cool. Once again, I'm stunned by how different things look when captured at 1000 frames per second. I think they're Persian cats, but I'm not sure. Check it out:




Lastly, if you think cats look cool at 1000 frames per second, wait til you see them at 1,000,000,000,000 frames per second! (Please, inventors of this technology, point your camera at cats ASAP!)

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

KROGG MAKE GIF

KROGG HAVE FRIEND. FRIEND HAVE PUG. PUG SILLY BEAST. KROGG CAPTURE SILLY BEAST ON CELL PHONE, TRANSFORM TO GIF, AND SHARE WITH INTERNET. BEHOLD:  MOGLEY AND BINDY!


Friday, November 30, 2012

Let Me Be Exceedingly Clear

Unless you've had your head under a rock this week, you'll know by now that the sponsor of our team, Exergy Development Group, has chosen to end their financial support of the Team Exergy for 2013. This news was not unexpected, but the finality of the announcement came as a surprise. I'd been carefully guarding a faint glimmer of hope that everything would be OK (Read: sticking my head in the sand, hoping the situation would just go away. It's called denial folks, and it's not a river in Egypt.). When I read the news that the team was without a sponsor, and that I was without a job -- I was crushed.

The internet has gone totally bonkers over this news. Reactions have ranged from the dismissive and pessimistic  to the vitriolic and asinine  Personally, I've had trouble refraining from being more vocal over social media. This is something that affected me deeply and profoundly. A large hunk of who I am, and how I think about myself is tied up in my job as a cyclist --  and the prospect of suddenly not being a racer any more is painful. I'd grown rather fond of what my next year was shaping up to be. Getting the rug pulled out from under me like this feels a bit like getting dumped by a girlfriend. It stings. I've said things over Facebook and Twitter that I probably shouldn't have -- comments that, while they've all been centered around me and my personal situation, aren't really the message I want to broadcast. 

So what do I want to broadcast? It's simply this: I am SO grateful for the chance to race my bike these last two years -- and most of that gratitude is directed towards James Carkulis and the Exergy Development Group. Anyone who knows me from my Hagens Berman days remembers how close I was to not becoming a pro racer. At the end of 2010 I'd been "chasing the dream" for five years. I was satisfied with my career as an amateur, but (provided I didn't get a shot at the next level of racing) was ready to move on to other things. I'd reached the conclusion that I was good enough to be a pro, but that much more goes into getting a pro contract than simply having the legs to do the job. Luck, timing, and connections were all part of the equation, and I didn't feel like I failed as a racer just because those other factors weren't on my side. Then, in October, I was offered a spot on Exergy. I felt like I'd won the lottery! It was only because of the management team of Escalera racing, and the insane generosity of our sponsor that I was offered the chance to keep racing. Like I told Cyclingnews, I feel like I was able to hit the snooze button, fall back asleep, and continue dreaming this ridiculously fabulous dream where I get paid to race bicycles

You can say many things about James Carkulis, and Exergy Development Group. Yes, he has outstanding bills. Yes, he had to make the difficult decision to withdraw sponsorship of my team. But to imply that he harmed us or betrayed us is just stupid. He enabled us, and the sport of cycling, to a fantastic degree. 

James, it's been a wild ride. 
Nothing lasts forever, but this was gooooood while it lasted. 
Thank you so much. 

Monday, October 22, 2012

KROGG VISIT SKY!

Krogg get opportunity to take ride in sky car. Amazing! Krogg love sky car. Drive around sky like brontosaurus drive around land.  

SKY CAR!
INSIDE OF SKY CAR!
FASTER SKY CAR!

VIEW FROM SKY CAR!

BEAUTIFUL VIEW FROM SKY CAR!

PILOT AND CO-PILOT!


BEAUTIFUL DEADWOOD RESERVOIR!


SNAKY RIVER!

KROGG IN SKY CAR!



Friday, October 19, 2012

Wherefore Hast Thine Blogging Waned?

What's wrong with me? My desire to write in my blog has all but dried up! This latest drought, not surprisingly, coincided with the start of my new job at Trademark Sign Company. I've been working there full time (or very close to it), for over a month, and it's been hugely satisfying. I'm learning a new craft, making a valuable contribution to a promising little company, and really enjoying myself while I do so. My hope is that, by the time the season starts, I'll be competent enough in the skills necessary for this job that I'll be able to maintain my position there throughout the year. Naturally, training and racing will call me away for much of the year, and Trademark has agreed to be extremely flexible about that when the time comes. But for now, alas, my free-time is no longer. I'm feeling swamped in a way I haven't since college -- and I'm not even training heavily yet!

But it's not just the job. The flow of mindless drivel found here at Gliderbison waned to a trickle long ago. Why? Was it just the lack of time? Has my desire to express myself lessened? Isn't there still interesting stuff happening that I have an opinion about? What about Red Bull Stratos? What about the massive implosion of Pro Cycling?  What about all the interesting work I've been doing at Trademark Sign Company? What about my friggin' knee (and the damaged ligaments therein), the triathlon I'm racing tomorrow, Exergy's financial woes, or my overwhelming excitement for the 2013 cycling season?

Perhaps I've simply found a substitute for the satisfaction my blog used to provide me. I've always acknowledged that writing a blog was simply a way to make myself feel better about what I do (i.e. selfishly spending all my time training and racing). That, and my greedy little appetite for emotional connection with other humans was hardly ever fulfilled, and spewing words into the void somehow sated that hunger.

Over these last few months, it's not like I haven't been creative. Or felt satisfied. But I miss the blog. And I'm not done blogging --  I'm sure that once I return to the cycle of training and rest, of preparation and perspiration, I'll also be compelled to share my silly thoughts. Hang in there, dear readers.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

People do Things

The world is a crazy little place. People are crazy little creatures. Right now, people everywhere are doing things. Some of them are doing awesome things. For instance, an astronaut floating high over our heads just fixed the goddam space station with a goddam tooth brush, like some kind of goddam spaceman MacGyver. Look: 
Screen Shot 2012-09-06 at 9.04.49 AM.png

But some people are doing idiotic things. For instance, there are skilled humorous writers who lack both common sense and a willingness to read (or follow) directions are applying powerful chemical solvents to their genitals -- much to my online delight. 

Happy Tuesday. It's going to be a good one.